An Unfortunate Coincidence
by Dorkling
Summary: Severa and Inigo, wandering sell-swords, fumble into each other in the middle of an assassination plot that goes sideways in more ways than one. Intrigue, violence and the usual bickering ensues.
1. Chapter 1

**An Unfortunate Coincidence**

Regna Ferox was a strange place, despite how supposedly straight-forward it was. Those who win the fight rule, a fairly logical guideline, however the insanely pig-headed character of most Feroxi attested that this rule was established less out of logic and more out of a desire to bash heads against things. At least, that was the wisdom gleamed by Severa, especially after following around the pompous ass, the heir of some duchy or kingdom in the Feroxi alliance, that she had been hired to kill through the snow laden streets of a town she really could not care enough to learn the name of.

All she knew was that it was somewhere along the northeastern coast of Regna Ferox, warm enough to put a port along the sea without the worry of ice, but cold enough for one not accustomed to snow to develop deep and malicious memories of the stuff to last the rest of their life. Not to say that Severa lacked a disliking of snow before she came here, but trudging almost knee-deep through slush long after her toes had gone numb and the insides of her boots had become wet enough that they felt about as gross as the squelch that marked her every footstep did the opposite of endear it to her.

There were other shortcomings one could gripe about, like how the buildings looked that the entire town should have collapsed years ago with their structures leaning in one direction or the other and their roofs sagging under all the snow. Then there was the people crowding the streets who looked and acted about as pleasant as the buildings, reeking in unwashed clothes and glaring shiftily at one another with grimy faces. The fact that no one in this city had assaulted the person she was following yet was also discomforting, with his smug smile strutting like he was some untouchable piece of sunshine through the markets and alleys.

The guy was every bit as arrogant as his wrinkled uncle said he was, and then some, it was a real question why no one sated the urge to knock him off the pedestal. Well, barring the four bodyguards that formed an almost perfect square just a few steps behind him at all times. Now, four guards usually did not sound like much to a woman who attempted a single-handed infiltration-turned-assault against a bandit fort, sure it did not go exactly as planned, but the attempt alone was one of many examples she could bring up if anyone ever called her craven. However, she could also tell when people had fight in them with a look and they honestly looked like the kind of men who did not boast about killing men with their bare hands, they would just do it in plain sight and let the corpse do the talking. It was this perception that kept Severa from walking up and running their charge through and possibly getting killed for it. So, Severa could understand why no one tried anything, but at least an attempt from some equally stuck up bastard, like a pig-headed town drunk, could have brightened up her day.

Instead, she got to enjoy following an annoyingly cheerful prick, avoiding the gaze and subsequent swords of his veteran guards least they wonder why this same woman keeps showing up around them and soaking in all the wonderful sights the bleak and harsh lands of Regna Ferox could provide. However, an opportunity had finally revealed itself to her, after an incident at an inn, only one of the guards would follow the puffed up noble into the next watering hole. A small curl on the side of Severa's lip developed as the stalked entourage took up positions around the front of the cleanest pub seen so far in the town and the nobleman walked in with only one guard. The smile faded away quickly as Severa thought on how she was going to get in there, the front door was out of the option, she could take on just the one guard inside, but three was out of the question.

Severa figured that every den like the miserable little establishment before her had a back door, probably for more sordid reasons than mundane ones. Severa briskly walked to the nearest alleyway, still wary of the guards' sight, and resisted the urge to pinch her nose as the smell of things no one really wanted to know the details of stung her nostrils. She was not even sure if the strange noises beneath her feet were her soaked footwear or something else beneath the muddied slush, the only decent thought she had about snow for a while; it was not bad at obscuring unsightly things lying along sketchy alleys.

The trip through the claustrophobic passage was otherwise uneventful, save a few passing folks wrapped up in shady robes and cloaks who Severa was certain were cutpurses but turned out to be snake oil merchants. Severa's charms easily got rid of them.

"Unless that miracle cure of yours can solve multiple stab-wounds, back off!"

Severa paid them no mind as she walked onward to where she was certain the bar's back entrance was, knowing she would not be bothered again upon hearing panicked footsteps against the wet ground. Severa could not even give herself a grin of satisfaction when she heard one of them slip and fall into the filthy ground, a baby rabbit with attitude could have scared a pack of liars like that. All that mattered was just getting her job over with and never negotiating a deal in Regna Ferox for the rest of the year. The door with a broad-shouldered man with arms locked over his chest in a posture of strength and authority clad in thick leather armour looked like the back door Severa was looking for. The sounds of drunks making a ruckus echoing through it confirmed her suspicions.

Now the question was how she was going to get in and out without making too much noise, Severa's usual frown became more pronounced and her eyebrows lowered. This was going to take a fair amount of thought and because she had no idea how long that nobleman quaffed his alcohol, making her time all the more precious as it was best to assume the worst-case scenario, the weight pulling her brow and the corners of her lips down became all the more heavy. However, after a few minutes of taking in the environment and the guard's demeanor she formulated a decent enough plan to get past the guard, one that played along with her strengths. She planted her feet across the alley from the guard, leaning against the corner to another shady and cramped passageway, an especially dark one at that.

Severa glared at the man with a challenging stare, it took the bulky oaf a few moments to realize it but he quickly acknowledged and met her gaze with his own eyes. Something akin to a bullfighter and bull staring each other before the beast made it's charge and fell upon the fighter's blade, the only question was which role was assigned to whom. Severa took a quick look around to make sure there was no one else to witness the scene and alert the town guard (Gods, she was dealing with a lot of different guards today).

"What are you staring at, oaf?" Severa baited.

"A bratty little girl who thinks she has fight in her." The pub guard took the bait like a starving, dumb fish.

"Suuuuure, old man leering at a girl, nothing else to take from that."

"Watch your tongue, rat, or I'll pull it out."

"Oh, Gawds, you're going to whip it out already? Ew, I was just joking earlier, but now…"

And that was it, the man walked up to Severa, feet pounding into the ground like they were made of stone, huffing like a wild animal and fists balled to cave in someone's pretty little face. His first mistake was that he telegraphed his punch way too much, anyone could see what was coming when a guy walked up to you and raises a fist next to his face. Severa sidestepped the oncoming blow, grabbed the man's arm and used his own momentum plus a bit of Severa's own strength to force him into the darker alley. Before he could peel himself off the ground, the rasp of Severa's blade leaving its scabbard hissed into the cold air and soon the blade found a temporary new scabbard just between the guard's ribs and straight into his heart. The man's body jerked for a split second, a weak gurgle emerged and died from his mouth in another half second before he went limp, a small pool of steaming crimson staining the snow.

Severa did not waste time in getting things over with, a dark alley was a good place to hide a body, but bodies did not remain hidden forever in crammed up towns. She quickly patted the man down for his key to the door and quickly wiped her blade against the alley's snow before returning it to her scabbard and, trying to remain as nonchalant as possible, walking towards the pub's back door. At this point, if she aroused any alarm, she would just dash towards the front of the place, hopefully taking advantage of the shock, and run the noble through and get the hell out. The plan relied on more luck Severa was comfortable with, but every now and then fate gave her something after a dozen miseries and she was certain it owed her big time after trekking through Regna Ferox just to assassinate one very killable person. If it went sideways, she could just light the place on fire and maybe the noble might burn to death in the inferno while she made her way out through the chaos.

Yet, despite her cynicism, Severa managed to sneak into the place without much of an issue, a few awkward looks were given, but the staff were either too tired or bored to inquire much beyond her being a new handler for the really big and angry drunkards. Now she was a bit suspicious of this good fortune, she decided to hurry up and kill the Duke-what's-his-name as soon as possible before this luck backfired. The front of the pub was about as charming as she expected, reeking of alcohol, sorrows and vomit with matching customers, at least the tables and floor were clean. Sort of, Severa noticed a grumbling skittish looking man wiping away some blood on the floor with a rag, maybe no one might notice or care about her stabbing someone if she could start a rowdy enough bar fight. On the bright side, the rough and tumble context made the cheery little noble stick out like a sore thumb. He stood at the head of a grand table, clad in teal enameled armour with a cup raised high and a cocky grin that almost reminded Severa of someone else. In fact, Inigo was sitting right next to him trying to look unassuming, but his darting eyes betrayed that he was on the lookout for something.

Wait…

As per usual, the world only gave Severa good luck to torture her a bit more down the road.

XXX

Paleport was a charming place, in that 'someone in this crowd wants to stab you' way. At least the dilapidated buildings and unfriendly looking residents gave you a clear warning beforehand, some towns or cities like this tried to hide their dark side. Then again, expecting Feroxi to be subtle was like expecting bees not to sting you when setting fire to their hive. Although Inigo really had to wonder why Boyar Tristrom decided to visit this place, then again, his sister did say he had a habit of skirting close to danger for the thrill of it. Again, Inigo reminded himself, this was Regna Ferox; running around killing bandits and whatnot was probably their equivalent to an inspiring speech on why they should still be in charge. However, there was no time to marvel at the eccentricities of Feroxi culture, a man's life was at stake and a very lovely lady had tasked Inigo with saving him.

It had taken a while, 'Feroxi lord who likes fighting, being loud and jovial distractions' was a very broad description that could even apply to the East Khan and the West Khan. Fortunately, Tristrom's enameled armour and his four guards with dog-themed helmets were the details that got Inigo on the trail. Unfortunately, Inigo could not just walk up and talk to the guy, according to Lady Sherena, Tristrom's sister, the man's own guards had been bribed to kill him at some yet-unknown time and place. If Inigo just walked up and warned him, the guards would either kill him, the Boyar or both. Inigo's usual course of action would be to kill them first, but the four of them looked especially scary compared to most men-at-arms he had encountered in his travels. Of course, an opportunity had revealed itself, just as it had to a familiar woman also stalking the Boyar unseen by Inigo, as the man walked into a bar with only one of his retainers following him in. Inigo saw his chance, he would just walk in, approach the Boyar when Tristrom wandered from his duplicitous retainer (as is what happens when one consumes alcohol) and inform him of the plot and take him out of the back. There was certain to be a hiccup or two, such was Inigo's lot in life, but at least it was a plan. Then one of the retainers waiting outside stepped in between Inigo and the front door.

"Oi, what's yer business?"

Already hiccupping before he managed to get into the bar. Inigo's trademark grin twitched, but he managed to hold it strong enough to maintain appearances. At least, he hoped it maintained appearances.

"Well, what's yours?" Inigo tried to look as innocent as he could, he had a lot of practice trying to disarm spurned women with it, although past results did not speak of that action's effectiveness at least he had it practiced.

"Th' protection of m'liege lord. Gotta keep rats outta the place till he's done gracing this here establishmen' with his presence. Now, what's yer business?" Inigo was regretting he did not consider sneaking in from the back instead of charging through the front.

"Well, good sir, I am here to get a drink." Inigo raised a sultry eyebrow. "And maybe I'll meet a friendly barmaid while I'm at it."

The bearded guard retained an unconvinced look. "What's with th' sword?"

"Well, ladies aren't going to be drawn to a man who can't protect himself, y'know?" Inigo kept up the act, the feeling of awkwardness and his possibly impending death tickling his spine, the urge to just jump up and run creeping up his legs.

Maybe he should just run through the door and wing it? No, that would just get a blade in his back, the guy he was trying to save dead and that lovely Lady Sherena upset. An utter shame all around, to be sure.

"Hah! Don' meet many Ylissean types tha' get it." A grin that mixed welcoming familiarity with predatory maliciousness spread itself across the guard's face, something like a wolf grinning at prey it found worthy of itself. If wolves did that, Inigo was not sure.

However, a smile was something Inigo had never unwelcomed and this one seemed to be his ticket in.

"So, I guess that means I'm not a rat?"

"Sure, jus' keep yer nose clean and yer blade in the scabbard and I'm certain you'll be havin' a great time in there." The guard waved off the other two who had snuck up on Inigo's flanks.

The cold brush of death rubbed against his back again as we walked into the watering hole.

The place was about as pleasant as the outside with shady patrons and sparse amounts of light, although a lot warmer, Inigo could actually feel the tips of his fingers again. Now all Inigo had to do was find the man clad in bright blue armour laughing with a force that filled up the room with a scary looking woman clad in leather armour next to him. This was not a difficult task. Inigo figured the best course of action was taking a seat close to him until he could get the man's attention, given how much enthusiasm he was putting into his drink, Inigo figured that it would be best to sit right next to him as quickly as possible before he passed out. This just might be the night the Boyar bites it and Inigo was not in the mood for losing after coming this far. Not too long after deciding this, one of the men getting drunk with the Boyar left his seat to get another drink, Inigo took the chance and slunk right into the seat. He gulped, his throat was dry and his hands were getting clammy with sweat, glancing to the front door to make sure the front guards were not coming in, back to the guard inside to the Boyar himself and repeat for a while. All while trying to look unassuming, this did not work out too well.

"Hey, lad." The guard said, sitting across the table from Inigo. "Something wrong with ya?"

"Hm? Oh, no." Inigo lied with a beaming smile. "Just, waiting for some friends. That's all."

"Mm-hm. Why are you staring at th' guy in the armour?"

"Uh, he's a bit hard to not give any attention to." The Boyar slammed his cup against the table bellowing for another drink to accentuate Inigo's point.

"Alright." The guard finished up her interrogation. "Now why are you lookin' at me?"

The world slowed to a painful crawl as Inigo tried to think of an explanation for that. He repeated the usual spiel in his head, play it cool, do not panic, act natural, but that did not stop every muscle in his body from demanding he get up from his seat and run. No, the guard was probably expecting him to run or panic now, she would either bellow a warning to the three outside or leap upon him the moment he turned his back. Inigo considered just running her through right now, but that would lose any trust he could gain with Tristrom, especially if his temperament was like the other Feroxi lords Inigo had met. Then, as if by divine providence, his mother's age-old advice pierced the hectic storm in his mind with the grace of an angel. If you have problem talking to ladies, flirt with them.

"Well, how could I ignore a strong, imposing and voluptuous Feroxi woman like yourself?" Inigo's seductive smile was on now, he had this down to pat.

The guard rolled her eyes, just like every other woman Inigo pulled this on; she bought it! Then, something unexpected happened, something Inigo would end up regretting.

"Alright, I'll take you up on that." The guard got up from her seat.

"What?" Inigo said flatly.

"Hey, you started it and you look like you can actually handle yourself around a blade." The guard spoke plainly. "So, let's get this over with."

"Wait- wait- wait- !" Inigo rose his hands up defensively. "Isn't this a bit fast? Like, maybe I should buy you a drink first?"

"Pfft." The guard scoffed. "We're not going all th' way yet, I just want to have a… Feroxi dance with ya."

"… Oh..."

Inigo felt like he had fallen into a bizarre land completely alien to him, a woman had reciprocated his advances and now he was being invited to a dance. All while he was trying to prevent an assassination no less. Eventually the realization of his amazing luck had just struck him, he would have a dance, promise to have a drink with the guard at the bar table and sneak a quick chat with Tristrom and hopefully get him out of here. Brilliant, just brilliant. Inigo's dumbfounded face soon returned to his smiling self and he nodded in agreement with the Feroxi guard.

"ALRIGHT, CLEAR THE FLOOR, I'M HAVIN' A FEROXI DANCE WITH THIS YLISSEAN LAD!" The guard bellowed, Inigo did not care to correct her that he was technically a Feroxi as well from his mother's side, but that was not important.

And with that, tables and seats were pushed aside to make a somewhat roomy clearing, the patrons eagerly on looking in anticipation. Inigo was a bit befuddled by how much these Feroxi seemed to like dancing. Then the word struck him and his rational thoughts flew out the window to make room from the crippling fear filling his mind; 'dancing.' Now Inigo felt more terrified than he did with the guards outside, at least he would have died without anyone seeing how bad he was at landing a pirouette. The child of the Olivia herself, one of the most renowned dancers in Regna Ferox, swallowed his fear as best he could, reminding himself again and again that a man's life was in danger and his plan to save him was now reliant in this dance. Inigo now felt like a complete idiot for actually making dancing in public integral to his plans.

"So, y'ready?" The guard asked with an eager smile as she stepped into the middle of the clearing.

"As ready-" Inigo swallowed again. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Inigo followed the stout woman into the center of the metaphorical stage, all of his strength keeping his body from trembling as he took step after step towards his partner. Once more, Inigo was on the verge of running as fast as he could from the situation at hand when, once more, something unforeseen happened. The guard drew the axe hanging from her belt and took up a combat stance. That was when Inigo realized she kept using the term 'Feroxi dance' and quickly figured out, considering typical Feroxi mentality, what that likely meant. He had just agreed to fight a person at least a foot taller than him with arms as thick as oak tree branches in a duel.

"Well, on the bright side, I won't be dancing." Inigo tried to look on the bright side of things, it made holding up the corners of his mouth less difficult.

He drew his blade and took up a stance in turn, all the urge to tremble replaced by an urge to keep himself from getting cut to shreds. Inigo let the guard get the first hit, maybe he could talk her out of this.

"Hey, y'know, maybe we can do this elsewhere. I mean, I don't want so many people seeing me hurt a lady-"

"Stop wagglin' that tongue and start swingin' that sword!" Inigo bolted to his left as the guard ran up and swung her axe to his right.

"Look, I'm not saying you can't fight, heck that was a really good swing, but-" He moved to his left again dodging another swing. "Uh, is this a fight to submission, first blood or the death?"

"FIRST BLOOD!" That swing got really close, Inigo was pretty sure he got a bit of hair cut off the top of his head.

"Alright then, looks like you aren't in a talkative mood anymore…" Inigo's pulse was racing through his body, flight or fight instinct shifting from the former to the latter, as his face beamed at the lovely coincidence that this whole scenario had a name that lined up perfectly with one of his favorite battle cries. "Let's dance!"

Inigo lunged, his dance partner side stepped to his right and swung her axe into Inigo's path, now he was certain that he lost a few hairs as he ducked just under it. Inigo stopped just behind the woman to her right and spun on step, hoping to cut into her back before she could parry, but she was faster than he hoped. Sparks lit up the air for a brief moment before they flickered out as a familiar rattle shook through Inigo's hands and the more accustomed sound of grinding of steel visited his ears. Inigo was wondering if it was healthy that he kind of missed a fight like this, it probably was not, but who could blame a guy who fought the machinations of a God-dragon trying to kill the world? Then again, maybe the fact they tried to fight Grima in the first place was evidence enough that Inigo and all of his friends were a bit batty. Although, none of this was a concern for his opponent/dance partner as she broke off the parry with a few quick steps back followed up by a charge forward to gather momentum for another swing. She was planning to overpower him through brute strength, something she was very likely superior in, and was safely betting on Inigo keeping up with his dodging and talking to get out of the situation. Eventually, Inigo would tire out as she most likely had him outdone in the stamina department as well. However, Inigo was more capable of doing brazen things, like responding to a charge from a physically stronger opponent with his own charge, than either of them were able to expect. Which is exactly why it worked out so well, Inigo's sword met the guard's axe before he barreled his own body into her and managed to knock her on the ground. After that, Inigo ran on total muscle memory, his fingers found the dagger hilt, his hand wrapped in a vice grip was raised high and Inigo slammed it into the shoulder before the guard could get her dagger into his gut.

The guard did not even whimper, she grumbled something about losing to a flirt before pushing Inigo off herself and getting up to her feet. A look of contemplation covered her face before she sheathed her dagger, Inigo thought that she was planning on stabbing him anyway, thankfully she did no such thing besides trying to stab him earlier. The guard unceremoniously plucked her axe from the floor and yanked out Inigo's dagger.

"Hey, uh, you shouldn't have-" Inigo remembered a few important combat health tips from Brady, best to leave a sword or arrow in then yank it out immediately and risk infection or bleeding out.

"Stow it." The guard cut him off, pressing a hand against the wound. "Th' boys outside can treat this in a wink. Here's a little something for ya troubles."

Inigo stared perplexingly at the handful of coins tossed to the ground beside him.

"Uh, don't I get a kiss for my performance?"

"I'll be honest, th' tradition of a 'Feroxi-Dance' is to settle disputes in a manner that's true to our ways. I just use it to shank foreigners who think they have a chance with me and have no idea what it is."

So, a Feroxi-Dance was just another excuse for people in this vehement land to fight and a woman tried to stab Inigo for his advances; all was right with the world once more. Inigo just grimaced in acceptance of reality as he pushed himself back on his feet, the patrons of the bar already putting their tables and chairs back where they were, as if no acts of gratuitous violence had transpired. There was even some employee already cleaning up the blood like it was just another spilled drink. However, despite almost getting cut open by the hundredth lady he had stoked the ire of (he actually kept a tally) things could not be better at the present moment. As the guard walked into the front, Inigo had the chance he needed to talk to Boyar Tristrom. All he needed to do now was find him, however, the universe was generous with it's kindnesses today and practically threw the Boyar at Inigo.

"WELL DONE!" Inigo's ears rang as a hulking blur wrapped it's metal grip around his body, his life almost flashed before his eyes as he figured he was about to be crushed to death, then he picked up on this metal monster's jovial chuckling and realized this was the man he was trying to protect.

"Uh... H- hi..." Inigo choked out. "Uhm... Coul- could you please let me g-... Please let me go?"

"Oh, yes! My bad, warrior from Ylisse, I just couldn't help myself after seeing your display here!" Inigo was mercifully released and gazed upon the face of the voice that was still ringing in his ears.

The Boyar looked deceptively aged, with a few sprinkles of grey in his blonde hair and a wrinkle or two at the corners of his dark face. The man was not exactly old, but not as young as Inigo would have surmised given his current behavior. Inigo knew from experience that Khan Baslio and Flavia liked to celebrate a victorious battle or war, but there was a difference between battles and wars and simple brawls in a bar. Inigo had accomplished the latter and this lord looked like he was going to treat Inigo to the time of his life. Inigo could see why he was a target for assassination in a collection of kingdoms that were not the biggest fans of subterfuge, it was just too easy to kill someone so green to battle who held so much clout.

"Come now, I must treat you to a drink." The Boyar wrapped an arm around Inigo as they walked to his table, Inigo playing along for now to warn the man as soon as they reached the table. "I haven't seen anyone match one of my guards. Hell, if it wasn't first blood rules, she prolly would have just taken the dagger, opened your guts and call it a win!"

Tactless too. Why this was a thing among so much nobility in the world, at least as far as Inigo knew, maybe tact was bred out of them all over the years? Inigo sighed, somewhat exasperated and nostalgic at the same time, as he sat down next to the Boyar.

"Look, Boyar Tristrom, I'll just cut to the chase. Your life is in danger, we need to-"

"Who did my uncle bribe this time?"

Silence, Inigo and the Boyar exchanged plain looks with no words given between them.

"Uh..." Inigo took a moment to regain his breath. "Your guards are bribed, yes. Your sister sent me to-"

"Ahhhh, how is she? Still trying to watch my back all of these years." Tristrom chuckled.

"... Has this happened before?" Inigo inquired.

"Oh, it's a family tradition!" Tristrom downed another drink. "Sometimes siblings who have both sired capable and legitimate heirs will decide to test who is more worthy of rulership by sending assassins until one of the siblings die or until there's only one heir left standing. My father is too cunning in his age, so uncle tries to get me instead."

"..." At this point, Inigo was more than able to see where this was going. "You're going to charge outside and kill your guards because this is Regna fucking Ferox and there isn't a problem here that can't be solved without bashing someone's head in."

"Now you're getting it!" The Boyar leapt back up to his feet, cup raised in the air. "Just let me finish one more toast and we'll settle this, together!"

Inigo, sighed, eying the door for Tristrom's guard to storm back in and looking for any other attempt on Tristrom's life his uncle may have prepared. If this had been going as long as it looked, a few redundancy plans were probably in place. In a sense, Inigo got what he wished when a hand and arm wrapped around his mouth and neck pulled him to a corner of the room. The initial shock made Inigo incapable of giving even a single whimper of alarm to his new compatriot, but the second shock he received when he saw the face of the person slamming him against the wall forced a word out.

"... Severa?"

"Well, at least your eyes are still working."

This was indeed Severa. Inigo should have known he was getting too many lucky breaks today, and the scowl on Severa's face informed him the feeling was mutual.

XXX

Perfect, Inigo was here. Funny how it took them roughly two years to find each other in the Shepherds when they were trying to save the world and now they were just tripping into each other when everything was safe and sound? Classic joke from the cruel, cruel world. Severa would have tried to pay him no mind, but his sitting next to her target raised a few questions she was not certain she wanted the answers to. Inigo was a sell-sword, standing next to a noble whose guard was currently absent (Where the hell was that stupid guard? Her liege is completely vulnerable!) and looking unusually disheveled. Inigo had either taken up her job as well or he had been recently hired to protect the guy. Both scenarios involved fighting Inigo, something she would like to avoid and she was pretty certain she could browbeat the 'lover boy' into submission.

"Okay, Inigo, why are you here?"

"Nice to see you again too, Sevy." Inigo grinned that annoying grin, but his breathe betrayed a bit of spite, probably due to being held hostage by a friend. "I think it would be polite to let the lady go first."

"Don't pretend you care about politeness." Severa rolled her eyes, yet more confirmation that she really was talking to Inigo. "Just tell me why you're here, I'm not going to stab you, maybe punch your lights out, but I promise you'll live."

"Well, since you're going to ask so nicely." Inigo's grin shrunk just a bit. "I'm here to protect Boyar Tristrom."

"… Please don't tell me that's the pompous ass in the blue armour."

"The very same, actually."

Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect like Severa's mother flying off to die for Chrom like a good little soldier. Perfect like how quickly the world fell apart and life became a nightmare. Perfect like a scenario where Severa might actually end up stabbing Inigo in his stupid smiling face. Severa took a breath to remain calm, but Inigo's smile fading even more told her that he knew something was up.

"Okay, so, how much do you like that guy? Like, he couldn't be worth your life, right?"

"Well…" Inigo awkwardly chuckled. "His pretty sister did take me out for a date just to propose the job to me."

Severa was promised a thousand gold coins, she was already given three hundred up front, while the other team had bought off Inigo with a dinner and a kiss. Just perfect ('perfect' was quickly becoming a very dirty word in Severa's vocabulary). Inigo caught up on Severa's judgmental glare and quickly blurted out a few words in his defense.

"Hey, she promised me actual money later!" Then his smile returned full force as his eyes wandered off into memory. "It was a really fun date too."

"Oh, gawds, don't make me barf." Severa grumbled, she had not noticed that her arms were now crossed over her chest instead of pushing Inigo against the wall. "Look, I was promised a thousand coins, three hundred up front, to kill that guy. I think that beats a dinner."

Inigo's smile finally collapsed into a thin line of dark surprise as he realized what was happening.

"Oh…" Inigo said. "Uh… Is it possible you could renegotiate that contract?"

"No." Severa said flatly. "Not all of us are fueled by kisses and giggles from pretty girls, some of us like to eat."

"Oh, c'mon, Severa!" Inigo said. "Heck, why don't you help me? I'm certain we can take on his guards, we'd both get rewarded!"

"Oh, as if I would work with-" Severa was about to spurn Inigo with a smug laugh before she realized that odd detail sticking out. "Wait, wouldn't killing his guards do the opposite of protecting him?"

"What? No, they're bribed, remember!" Inigo then processed Severa's confused face for a moment. "Wait, you weren't told about that?"

Severa did not respond, her mind was elsewhere, the guards were supposedly bribed, but she had been told to avoid the guards. Something was up. The arrogant prick in the room finally noticing his new friend was in the corner of the bar and walking up to check on him did not help matters.

"Ho there!" Severa quietly groaned as she turned to face the guy she was supposed to be murdering the hell out of. "Who's this pretty lass you've found my friend? An accomplice of sorts?"

"Oh, uh, yes. Of sorts. She's a friend. We just bumped into each other. We're catching up." Inigo spoke in rapid bursts, clearly trying to keep Severa from talking.

"Ah, well, don't take too long." Tristom chuckled giddily. "I want a glorious charge through that front door where we can catch all four of them by surprise."

"Jeez, how little faith do you have in your guards?" Severa said half mockingly and half inquisitively.

Tristrom gave Inigo a funny look, Inigo winced a bit with a nervous laugh.

"By catching up, I meant bringing my accomplice-friend here up to speed. Yes." Tristom shrugged in acceptance of Inigo's explanation.

"Well…" The Boyar tried to answer Severa's question. "It sounds like something my uncle might do, he's been easing me in slowly, to be truthful. At first he sent a group of bandits, but has worked his way up to having one of my stewards try to poison me. It was only a matter of time before he got my guards. As for your friend… If your friend here wanted to kill me, he could do it right now and run out the back door, but he hasn't. Either that or he's dumb, but I don't like to assume such things."

Severa's glare at Inigo was a somewhat conflicted one, he was thick, but in the way that he drops everything for anything wearing a skirt, if he wanted it the Boyar would indeed be dead by now. However, there was another little detail, Tristrom's uncle hiring people close to Tristrom. Why did he hire Severa? Of course, that was the question that Severa could not give directly.

"So, what are the odds he might a different approach?" Inigo's face perked up in an alarmed way, he knew what Severa was trying to ask.

"Uh, y'know, let's focus more on the present, right?" Inigo butted into the conversation, trying to avoiding looking at Severa's dagger-like eyes. "The guards are still outside and my ally and I are ready. Let's just get this messy business over with and discuss monetary compensation afterwards, alright?"

That was when everything went sideways again. The Boyar's guards, all four of them bloodied and brandishing arms, burst into the bar and slammed the door shut. They immediately set to forcing the patrons out into the back of the building while barricading the windows and door with tables and chairs. Severa and Inigo had no clue anymore as to what was going on.

"Tristrom! We're under attack!" One of the guards, a woman with bandages wrapped around one of her arms, bellowed over her shoulder before she set her attention back to holding the door shut.

"What?!" Tristrom said.

"WHAT!?" Severa yelled.

"… Okay, maybe we should just stab the Boyar and run before this mess gets any more complicated." Inigo whispered into Severa's ear.

And so, here the two former Shepherds stood, in a room with guards one has sent to kill to save a Boyar, said Boyar was also present and was the person the other was sent to kill, the guards were also supposed to be killing him, but at the same time they were supposed to protect him. It was like a bad riddle had been written and the writer of it had no idea what the answer was. They were being played, they could figure that much out for sure, but had no clue what the players were doing or who they really were.

To some, this would be bad luck. To others, a complete and utter mix-up. To some others, this was a carefully woven web of duplicity. To the people who set the stage of this event, the meeting of the two Shepherds would be called an unfortunate coincidence.

XXX

 **A/N: I hope that was a ride for you as much as I intended it to be. Sorry to end on a cliff-hanger, but… Well, I like cliff-hangers, but only for the first chapter. This will be a short story so you won't be reading a dozen or so chapters to figure out how this thing went down (apologies to people who like that sort of thing), this is really because I'm bad at mystery or, to better phrase it, this is the first time I've really tried to write a story with some mystery to it.**

 **Anyway, the reason I wrote this story was to test my writing chops in a fanfic that didn't involve Lucina. I think having a star role in my first and second ficts on this site is enough love for her at the moment, I need to shower the other crazy kids with my affection. So, why Inigo and Severa? To be honest, they're the two I'm most unsure of my ability to write for, so I may as well start getting better at writing them now.**

 **So, yeah, that's about it. Comment if you'd like, I'd lurve me some feedback and I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can!**

 **\- Dorkling**


	2. Chapter 2

**An Unfortunate Coincidence**

 **Chapter 2**

This should have been a good day. Sure, Severa was about as huggable as a cactus, but she was still a friend. A friend that had just interrogated him, but if Inigo started holding threats of physical violence against people he would have probably lost about half of his friends by now. Besides, the only one who had ever actually knocked his lights out over a few flirty comments was Kjelle. However, that was beside the point, today should have been a decent reunion between comrades. Severa would have thrown a hundred and one derogatory remarks about Inigo's sunny disposition and flirtations, Inigo would have pestered her and japed at her grumpy mood throughout the day until she eventually cracked a smile and they would eventually have parted ways on a somewhat positive note before one of them ruined the moment.

Instead, they were apparently on opposing sides of an assassination plot that had taken a turn for the convoluted. Inigo was trying to keep Boyar Tristrom alive, Severa was trying to kill him and his guards were also supposed to be killing him but also not. Now they were all stuck in a bar under siege by some new group of people probably also trying to kill the Boyar, probably with motives that would make this situation even more confusing. This should have been a good day, but it looked like it was going to be a very long and hard one instead.

"Alright, so, any plans?" Inigo elevated his voice over the din of windows and a front door being barricaded by the beefy guards/maybe-assassins.

"Wait, how do we know they're not pulling an act to kill Boyar what's-his-face?" Severa inquired. "I mean, barricaded doors and windows, perfect to cage someone up before killing them."

Several throwing axes smashing through about three of the bar's widows, embedding themselves in the floor, on lasting a few feet away from where Severa stood, answered her question. Whoops and war cries that were little more than a whisper outside, flooded in through the broken glass and started filling the pub. Inigo felt a bit sorry for Severa, the scowl on her face more pronounced as the entire situation continued to make no sense; this was just not her day. Inigo could sympathize, this was not his day either.

"Well, it's just bandits." Inigo said with some relief in his voice, bandits always tended to use axes and the gratuitous amount displayed was practically their handwriting. "We can deal with bandits."

"I counted at least twenty of them, boy." One of the guards, the one that snooped Inigo out when he was walking into the bar earlier, grumbled bitterly while hefting a table to cover one of the broken windows. "I think that's a bit much."

Inigo did not bother to argue, the guard's pride had clearly been stung and there was no point in twisting the knife in a life or death situation. Inigo looked to the Boyar for a plan, but the man was still a tad dumbfounded on what was going on at the moment, mouth gaping in confusion with not a single word or audible sound escaping between the lips. With that inspiring image fresh in his eyes, Inigo turned to Severa with a nostalgic sigh.

"World's going to hell and we're the only people that can seem to save it." Inigo knew it annoyed Severa, but he flashed an encouraging grin nonetheless. "It's just like old times."

Severa groaned, clarifying to Inigo that he was doing his job right.

"Look, let's just deal with these jokers and sort this all out later." Severa said, gently rubbing her forehead. "Now let's go take the back door and flank these idiots before they decide to burn this place down."

"There's a back door?"

"Uh, duh, how else did you think I got in? Taking the front with all those guards?"

"..." Inigo was not in the mood to get another knife stuck into his ego today, especially with the current amount of blades already trying to cut him.

"Uh, fine, it doesn't matter." Severa groaned. "Just follow me and be quick about it. I don't want those bandits to find the back door and flank us first!"

"Wait!" Tristrom snapped out of his trance. "Let's even our numbers a bit. Vilea, I'll hold the door while you go with these two!"

"Understood!" Vilea just so happened to be the guard Inigo had fought earlier, this was going to be a charming experience for the two of them, she dashed from the door to the two sell-swords as quickly as Tristrom ran and slammed his armoured bulk against the piece of wood that stood between the unpleasant folks outside and everyone still inside the pub.

With that, the three began to sprint with Severa in the lead, armoured feet pounding hard enough against the wooden floor to be heard through the noise echoing in from the outside. Inigo's stomach was tying itself up in a knot, six against twenty, worse odds had been faced, but Inigo usually had more people he could trust on hand. The only person that filled that role here was Severa, and he was not sure if she trusted him! Vilea might respect Inigo, he had yet to meet a Feroxi that could not be won over to some degree after winning a fight, but they were strangers to each other all the same. Tristrom was as green as the grass in Ylisse and Inigo did not even know the names of the three other guards that followed him around. This was going to be a long day for Inigo, assuming he did not die in the middle of it.

As Severa opened the door, Inigo tried to think of a quip, something to cheer everyone, including himself, up before leaping into a life or death situation, but the cold gust of air that flooded over him like he was just chucked into the sea interrupted his thought process. Any hope of continuing that train of thought was further dashed by the image of four- no, five bandits running around the corner and stopping short of the door frame with alarm in their eyes at the two mercenaries and body guard taking the route parallels to theirs. Shame too, Inigo was certain he was on the cusp of a good one-liner this time. The bandits were muttering something about working their way through a crowd before they trailed off into silence brought on by stupefying surprise, probably all of the people that were in the pub that flooded out of the back like rats running off a sinking ship when the pub suddenly came under siege.

No words were spoken, Inigo thought he heard Vilea mutter something between a curse and an insult, or maybe it was Severa, and one of the bandits muttered something in turn. The exchange immediately devolved into a bloody street fight after that. Vilea made the bandits back up from the door with a broad left-to-right sweep with her axe. Severa spotted the slowest one backing up, while his attention was still focused on the huge woman swinging an axe, weaved around Vilea and ran him through with her sword. Inigo settled on stabbing the second slowest bandit, who caught his senses fast enough to almost parry Inigo's attack. Inigo felt a bit guilty, all of that last-second effort for not as the blade sunk into the bandit's chest and the man fell to the ground. That familiar feeling festered in Inigo's mind again after a long time being dormant, the one thing that separated the bar fight earlier with a proper battle, snuffing out a person's light from this world all over again. However, Inigo was more used to the concept these days, much to his chagrin, and there was still eighteen more men that had to kill. So, the killer-flirt stowed those thoughts away like a dirty secret to the part of his mind where he was fairly certain the nightmares came from, it could use some new material anyways.

The remaining three backed up a fair distance from their foes, spreading themselves out to prevent encirclement now that the numbers were evened, Inigo and his comrades spread out as well. There was a strange quiet that filled the space between the two groups of professional killers. Everyone trying to get a read on each other, figuring out who was going to make the first move or whose guard looked the weakest. It was kind of funny, because the things that usually followed this kind of silence, the cold and deathly kind, was usually anything but quiet. This assumption was proved true once more the moment one of the bandits realized how to turn the odds back in their favour.

"BACKDOOR! THEY'RE COMING OUT THE BACKDOOR!" Just loud enough for some unpleasant folks bashing in the front door to likely hear.

"Oh, Naga's tits..." Vilea spoke plainly, Severa and Inigo quietly sighed and groaned in agreement with the guard's astute observation on the situation.

People started dying after that. Despite her wounded arm, Vilea still counted on her brute force, which was a safe bet considering how fast she was still capable swinging her axe around. Sprinting up to her chosen target, the bandit in the middle of his group, Vilea raised her weapon in the air and the bandit raised his own to block it. However, this seemed to be exactly what she planned as she slammed the handle of her axe against her opponents and pulled towards herself. The guardswoman moved fast enough that as the blade of her axe hooked onto the handle of her opponent's own weapon the poor bastard's grip did not have any time to loosen. The bandit was easy prey pulled off his feet and lying on the ground as Vilea raised her axe once more and split his head into a scarlet fountain with one stroke.

Not to say Severa and Inigo were not pulling their own weight, the other two bandits tried to flank the Feroxi guard, but the Ylissean mercenaries countered them fairly well. Severa parried with the bandit on the left, Inigo took a swipe at the one of the right. Inigo took a breath and tried to block out the fight on his left, specifically the one on the far left, he forgot the one hang up on fighting with friends; one had to trust that they could make it through least oneself get themselves killed worrying too much. It really should not have been hard to almost miss the counter-swing heading for Inigo's left shoulder, yet he felt and heard the metal grazing against his shoulder plate all the same as his feet scrambled to the right. The bandit did not advance, wary of the guard tearing into his exposed side now she was done with her opponent. Now Inigo had to kill this man already, all due respect to the living and his own feelings towards killing, but he could not shame the woman he bested in a 'Feroxi-Dance' by failing to kill a single bandit on his own. The dancer-mercenary lunged forth, telegraphing an attack to the bandit's center, but put his feet to work with a last-second dash to the bandit's left before he could react and running him through his chest. The bandit's axe fumbled out of his grip as Inigo pulled his blade out and mercifully finished his foe off with another stab aimed where Inigo was fairly certain the heart was. The bandit silently falling to the ground like a limp mannequin proved Inigo's aim was still true, that was good to know, given the situation.

Inigo was not certain how the details in Severa's fight went, but it ended with a slashed open throat and stomach for the bandit. Inigo showed off a victorious smile to his comrades, he based it on the one Chrom gave to the Shepherds after a job well-done. Neither of present company were the type that really took to smiles, but Inigo the Invincible could not break character just yet, there was still a battle afoot. On que, echoes of more feet came in like the thunder of a looming storm from the nearest alleyway. Severa was the first to speak.

"Alright, Guard-lady, you hold the back door. Inigo and I will flank them on an alternate route."

Vilea flinched a bit, clearly wanting to protest, but relented with a sigh. The guard rubbed her shoulder, bandages reddened with her fresh wound, she was not in peak condition and she knew that her duty was protecting her liege lord at all costs. The guard decided to part a warning to the two mercenaries before they set off.

"If you two get cold feet, and I ain't talkin' about th' snow, I swear I'll find you and make you regret it." What was with Inigo always running into women with a tendency for death threats, was it just something he brought out with his presence?

"Yeah, yeah." Severa huffed. "I'm not going to waste time now, but I'll chew you out for even considering I was a craven later."

"Ah, Severa..." Inigo sighed somewhat flirtatiously and a bit in frustration as the two began running as quickly as their feet could carry them over the frozen streets. "Never lose that biting personality of yours."

"Shut up, Inigo." Severa confirmed that she, indeed, would never lose it.

The two ran until the noises of men running down an alley behind them turned into noises of men trying to bash down a door held by a very strong guard behind it. They both glanced back at the image of five more bandits gathered around the back of the pub, doing exactly what it sounded like, smashing axes and fists against the door with someone bellowing a multitude of curses and jeers at them behind it. Inigo really needed to treat that woman to a proper dance when all of this was over, Gods knew she earned one. Same could go for the rest of Tristrom's entourage, really, but she might be the only one who would say yes. Inigo really should appreciate the way of Regna Ferox, getting respect for winning fights could really play into the advantage of a guy who had been fighting for his life for quite a while now. Of course, this all assumed that they all made out of this mess alive, which Inigo's previous experiences with incidents like this attested to more than a few casualties, but he had seen exceptions to the rule before, he prayed those exceptions would show themselves today as well.

Inigo and Severa quietly walked around the corner, heads kept low in case someone was waiting for them. Fortunately, or unfortunately as the sight given could really not be considered fortunate, there was no one waiting around the corner for them. Instead, there was twelve burly men carrying a bunch of axes and torches gathered around the pub in the middle of a recently cleared out street. On the bright side, the town's hostile charm was not reduced in the slightest by their presence in it. It was far from what Inigo or Severa wanted to see, judging by Inigo's brow getting all the more sweaty and how Severa's eyebrows were still stuck up when they went back around the corner to plan on how to approach a band of armed thugs with just two people.

"Alright, I'll take the six on the left, you take the six on the right." Inigo still tried to sound brave. "Maybe we can buy an opening for Tristrom and his men to charge in through."

"I didn't know you were in such a suicidal mood today." Severa also managed to restore her usual demeanor.

"Well, if you have a better plan, I'd like to hear it." Inigo shrugged.

"Hey! My plans were going great when I was trying to kill the Boyar, now you dragged me into saving him!" Severa spoke defensively, nice to know that ego remained unchanged since Inigo last saw her.

"Hey, woah, keep it down!" Inigo raised his hands in alarm. "I didn't mean anything like that, I honestly want to hear your plan."

"Oh." For a split second Severa's scowl broke into an awkward surprise, but she managed to get her stride back. "W- well of course you should! Just-... Give me a minute to think."

Inigo sighed, he was doing that a lot lately, although this time he was trying to do it as quietly as possible, least Severa hear the irate tone in it. The upside to being paired up with Severa is that one is with someone who would fight demons at the slightest, well, slight against her. The downside was that Severa was just as liable to fight you for the exact same slight. Unstable situation with an unstable person, what a lovely little mess to jump into. Inigo entertained the thought of just cutting his losses and running like the wind, he had clearly been duped by someone, given that the guards could clearly kill Tristrom now and had yet to do so. Or just maybe the person trying to kill the Boyar had terrible communication lines. Inigo could not tell if that was a good thing, implying that he was fighting an incompetent schemer, or a bad thing, implying that those guards were still trying to kill the Boyar but were just confused like Severa was on who was doing what.

However, if Inigo ran now, he would be going back on his promise to Tristrom's sister, breaking promises was something a mercenary had to avoid unless they did not want to look reliable and Inigo could never break a promise for a pretty girl. Moreover, the philandering sell-sword was certain Severa had a good chance of getting herself killed, given her somewhat impulsive nature, and while he might be able to sacrifice the Boyar and guards he met just today, getting a longtime friend killed was just not Inigo's style. Worse, if Severa survived, she would probably hunt Inigo until the end of time for running. The pigtailed-terror would not even need to stab him, she would probably nag him well into an early grave.

Just as Inigo finished his thoughts, he spotted the gleam of what looked like a plan in Severa's eye, he smiled, he knew a plan when he saw one from looking at Robin. The temperamental mercenary picked up on Inigo's expectant glare and smile of confidence.

"What? What is it?" Severa asked indignantly.

"Uh..." So much for that gleam, and Inigo's smile. "Do you have a plan?"

"I- I'm..." Severa stuttered a bit in what appeared to be a mixture of anger and embarrassment. "I said give me a minute!"

Well, this was it for Boyar Tristrom, his life was in the hands of two mercenaries who were excellent at getting into bizarre accidents but not exactly the best at getting out of them. At least they were good at one thing instead of nothing, or so Inigo told himself to boost his confidence before putting all of his head into thinking up something. Maybe they could fix that trait on not getting out of terrible messes right now.

Unfortunately, the sound of a door, likely the front door of a certain pub, being splintered by what was likely a battle axe echoed into their ears. Soon, the clashing of steel filled the frigid air of the snow laden streets, with a joyous battle cry from Tristrom's unmistakably cheery voice almost breaking the grim mood of the situation. All the more reason to start figuring out on getting out of bad jams. There was no time for a plan, a noble as green as grass with about four wounded guards was about to take on over ten killers who were coming in from the front and back of the pub they were in. Maybe they should have brought the Boyar with them through the back, maybe they should have stuck with him, and maybe they could have done a lot of things more clever than just running out the back in a harebrained scheme to flank the band of men trying to kill them. Unfortunately, now they were stuck with their present choice and resulting situation.

Inigo gulped audibly, he could feel the hot, well, it was more lukewarm due to the climate, sweat dripping down his face and filling up every awkward joint and nook and cranny on his body. It felt like he was in a swamp, an uncharacteristically cool swamp, but a swamp nonetheless. Inigo would never get used to lives on the wire, no matter how many times he played the hero role, he was in the end a boy that could barely handle an audience looking at him dancing let alone fighting to save someone he just met. Not that he was among unfamiliar company, last Inigo checked, Severa was not superb at handling stress like this either. Inigo could probably retell, word for word, every speech his eardrums suffered about how supposedly terrible Severa's parents were for leaving a legacy no one could hope to shine out of whenever she found the smallest reason to do so. In fact, Inigo did not even need that, the amount of perspiration on his face was about equal to Severa's own face. Of course, people change over time, they were not children in their parents' shadow anymore. They survived the end of the world, escaped the future into the past and stood side by side with their mothers and fathers as the Fell Dragon was struck down! A group of bandits and some conspiracy to assassinate a little nobleman was nothing compared to that. They could do this, piece of cake, easy as a breeze, no sweat necessary.

"OKAY, WHAT-DO-WE-DO-WHAT-DO-WE-DO-WHAT-DO-WE-DO?"

"GIVE ME HALF A MINUTE! JUST- AAAAAAAAGH!"

Clearly, not enough time had passed.

Fortunately, while neither were good at handling stress, they had both developed very complex and effective methods of stress relief.

"AH, FORGET IT!" Inigo proclaimed "Thinking this stuff over was never my biggest strength, I'm going to run in there and wing it. You try to think of something clever while I'm off being a heroic idiot."

With that, Inigo whispered a few prayers, chief among them was prayer number four hundred fifty one that his mother never found out just how often her son put himself in danger like this. The poor thing would likely die of several heart attacks, dozens of ulcers and maybe even a short circuit in her brain from all the stress. Inigo still remembered just how much he was smothered when a Grimleal cultist managed to get a good cut on his leg. Olivia cried about the possibility of the blade being poisoned to the wound being infected to how scared her little boy must have been. Not to sound ungrateful, Inigo sure hoped he was not being ungrateful, but a man who endured the end times desired a little more recognition for his hardiness than his own mother gave him. However, most individuals Inigo knew had a soft spot for loved ones who had literally been dead to them for most of their lives and Inigo was no exception on seeing his mother again. Hence the praying that Inigo would remain the image of the good boy his mother saw and stayed out of unnecessary danger. Well, maybe good boy was too strong a term, Olivia was aware of her son's philandering, his many failed attempts at philandering, but enough to earn him the title of a philanderer. However, mommy's boy Ingio (Inigo had to find a more dignified but accurate title for it) would have to wait in the face of axe-brandishing thugs. This moment called for Inigo the Invincible; the dashing rogue who never feared a single fight in his life. A side to Inigo that Severa just might actually have forgotten of given the hint of surprise in her voice Inigo picked up on.

"HEY, YOU AREN'T MY BOSS!" Severa was getting audibly sick of Inigo's antics today, which was only exacerbated when she fully realized what he just said. "Hey, what do you take me for? Some idiot that just stands around while her comrades get killed? Wait up before you get your head cut off! ... AND DON'T THINK CALLING YOURSELF AN IDIOT WHILE ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT WILL STOP ME FROM CALLING YOU AN IDIOT, YOU GODS-DAMN-IDIOT!"

Truly, the world would never know a more delicate and sweet craftswoman of wordplay than Severa. Then again, this is the same world where Inigo is the most charming man alive with rows of women lining in front of his bedchambers. And Laurent spoke in short, to the point sentences. And Yarne was a legendary hero known around the world for his courage. And Brady had the most beautiful face in the world which he rarely covered in his own tears and he was the best wingman ever. And Nah would not lecture flirts on why flirting was bad. And Noire never sporadically turned into an arrow breathing beast scarier than Nah on a bad day. And Kjelle hit people half as hard then she usually did in a duel (the Inigo of some other, dark world could still feel the bruises long after they healed). And Cynthia had a voice that was a little less grating. And Owain's delusions were more grounded in reality. And Lucina smiled often and rarely brooded. And Gerome actually smiled more than Lucina and was the best wingman ever, second only to Brady. And sentences could begin with the word 'and' and still be totally grammatically correct no matter the situation. Ah, such a wonderful world it was.

Meanwhile, in the real world, a fair number of paid bandits had heard the bickering of two mercenaries down the street who were now charging at them. Their leader, or at least the person they deferred to, a man who could be best described as a wall with arms, legs and a head on top with his broad build simply waved off four of his men to intercept them. The stage was set, Inigo on the right, Severa just behind him on the left and an array of bulky axe-wielding bandits lined up in front of them. Inigo considered shouting an offer to stand down, the thought of a chance they were just as misguided as him or Severa crossed his mind. Inigo had gotten somewhat used to killing people, but killing people unnecessarily never failed to leave a bad taste in his mouth. However, whether or not Inigo should waste his breath on the matter was another story, and the bandits made the decision for Inigo with how rapidly they approached him and Severa with dark and cold looks in their eyes. Blood would be spilled on the street today, and it was a cold, snow laden street too, Inigo never liked how the crimson stained and steamed in the snow. Inigo had been told many comparisons of life to flame, pouring out warm liquids from a man inevitably followed with Inigo comparing himself to the dark beasts that desired to snuff out the light of life. Inigo was fairly certain no one liked comparing themselves to that.

The four bandits were the first to strike, they had devised a fair solution to the problem at hand, throw axes at it. Inigo had hoped for a counter-charge, he could use his sword against a counter-charge, deflecting axes mid-air was another story completely. Fortunately, Inigo knew how to deal with sharp objects raining down upon him with style and grace, he ran to the side flailing his blade wildly at the oncoming axes as he desperately looked for cover. Severa seemed to have a similar solution, or so Inigo assumed as he saw her take cover in an alleyway parallel to the large barrels of fish he had ducked behind.

"So, is it too late to form a plan?" Inigo shouted over the embedding of steel blades to the wooden barrels, earthy street or meaty fish piled just over the barrels' edges. "I didn't realize there'd be so many axes in my flight path while trying to wing it."

"If you had given me half a minute before!" Inigo could not tell if he expected anything else from Severa or not. "Now less talking, more fighting!"

Five words, right to the point and effective; that was enough of a plan for Inigo to follow. Even if it really was not a plan as much as a statement. Working up a small fire of courage in his belly, Inigo peeked his head over the cart and, in the microsecond he had before he dived his head back behind the relative safety of the cart, saw that two of the bandits were advancing while the other two kept themselves ready to throw at Inigo or Severa when they poked their necks out. It did not take a genius to figure out their grand strategy, the advancing pair would try to force Inigo and Severa out of cover while the two staying back would throw axes at them. Fighting bandits while dodging sharp things thrown from more bandits, not a good combination for anyone fighting the bandits.

That was when Inigo thought of a better plan than Severa's ingenious five-word stratagem. If fighting them was a bad idea, trying to talk could not hurt.

"WAIT, WE'RE ON THE SAME SIDE!" In that moment, Severa's eyes mirrored that of the four bandits, completely dumbfounded glares were laid generously upon Inigo as he leapt up from his spot into the middle of the street.

"No yer not!" One of the bandits retorted. "You were just charging at us, screaming and shouting with swords drawn!"

"Well, yes…" Inigo tried to sound like he was slowly explaining the obvious as he made up explanations on the fly. "We were charging in to help with killing the Boyar. That was our war cry. I guess we set it off a little prematurely."

"… Do you really expect us to believe that?" another bandit asked, arms crossed and eyebrow raised condescendingly.

"Good sir…" Inigo tried to put up an indignant tone, pretending he could not hear Severa from his side getting ready to rush them while their guard was slightly down, he had to convince the bandits, and his ally, right here and now before things got violent with him out in the open. "Do we look like one of Tristrom's guards to you?"

That was the line that caught the suckers, as they exchanged glances of wonder between each other. Just talking to people, Olivia's advice but applied to not only women, had turned the tables beautifully. Maybe mommy's boy Inigo might could very well outmatch Inigo the Invincible.

"Uhm, I suppose not." A third bandit finally admitted, queuing Severa to cautiously walk out of cover and play along with Inigo's trick. "Sorry about that. We were told we might be getting some help, but to not expect it."

"Ah, this things happen." Inigo gave a nonchalant laugh as he walked up to the bandits with an outstretched hand, trying to get within stabbing and slashing range in case things got violent again, which could happen at any second in situations like this. "How about a little handshake and we pretend this all never happened and get back to killing Tristrom?"

"Wait a minute!" The fourth, and clearly most observant, bandit stated. "I saw you walk into the bar when we were staking the place out in preparation for the attack. How did you get out?"

"Oh, uhm, well, that was because-, I mean-, our job was to-…" Inigo fired a dozen words a second from his mouth, damning him and Severa in an instant. "Hey, Severa, think we can close the gap before they start throwing axes again?"

An axe, freshly plucked from the icy ground after missing its mark, spun through the air and embedded itself into the shoulder of one of the bandits, shocking the other three for a few precious seconds for two certain sell-swords to rush them. Inigo took that as a 'yes' from Severa and acted accordingly. The first bandit Inigo reached had raised his weapon up, but Inigo cut his opponent's arm with a quick slash, resulting in said weapon falling to the ground, and finished his attack with a thrust into the bandit's throat. As yet another body tumbled to cold ground of this blasted town, more axes rained upon the three remaining bandits, courtesy of Severa and the bandits' own bravado in throwing so many to begin with. The weapons more often than not missed their targets, but they kept their attention split between Severa from afar and Inigo right in front of them. One person throwing sharp things at them while another tried to stab them with a sharp thing. They were using the same tactic the bandits were going to use on them a few moments ago. Time really could change things where it counted. Another charge and thrust ended the life of the bandit Severa wounded at the beginning of her barrage. With their numerical advantage gone, and the element of surprise stolen by the two mercenaries, the last two bandits dropped their weapons and ran for it. They clearly were not getting paid enough for this job.

"Well, this day is almost over." Inigo put his attention to the shattered bar door with the sounds of clattering steel pouring out of it like the blood seeping out of the corpses on the street around it. "Only eight more to go. No, wait, I think there's more in the back… Eh, I think we can take 'em."

"Let's just get this over with." Severa continued to be a gloomy contrast to Inigo's attempts to lighten the mood, he could not tell if he either hated or liked that about her. "Ugh, I think I've broken a nail…"

"Hey, I've heard some folks like the rough look." Inigo gave an encouraging wink as the two walked at a brisk pace to the pub's entrance. "I mean, no one's going to call a girl ugly if she looks like she can remove their head from their shoulders."

"Right, because I should listen to fashion advice from a guy who could never get a date in a million years." That almost cut as deep as some of the axes could have, well done Severa.

"Alright, alright." Inigo waved his comment away, trying extra hard to keep his smile up, no point in wasting time in a prolonged argument, especially given the present situation. "So, same plan as before?"

Severa rose an eyebrow, it was nice to see it raised in legitimate intrigue and not condescending contempt.

"Now less talking, more fighting!" Inigo tried his best Severa-voice as he mimicked her words a few minutes ago.

"You know what, Inigo…" Severa sighed, painfully so, as they neared the ajar bar entrance. "I can agree with that."

"… Damn, you really had to force that one out, didn't you?"

"Shut up, I'm trying to be nice."

And so Inigo did exactly that, sealing up his lips in a tight grin, almost forced one out of Severa as well, but she still managed, just barely, to keep her smile tied up into a thin line. Inigo would never understand why Severa hated to smile, but that would not stop him from trying to teach her. By the end of this day, he was going to get a smile out, it was the least he could do for the woman he dragged into this mess.

XXX

Well, just when Inigo was getting somewhat tolerable, Severa was graced with the sight of one Boyar and his guards surrounded in the middle of a bar by a frothing band of around eleven axe wielding would-be assassins. One of the guards was covered in bandages, sitting in the middle of the circle with bow and arrow drawn, probably the most he could do at that point. The rest were all trying to hold the 'battlements,' a bunch of table overturned to provide a degree of cover, against the horde besieging them. Several bandits of said horde lay dead by the tables, the scene honestly looked like a game of children playing war, except people were actually dying. At the beginning of this day, Severa would have welcomed such a sight, the Boyar's personality was far from a cup of tea for her and there was the bonus of getting paid to kill him. Then Inigo happened. Seven hundred gold coins waiting for a job done, Severa was prepared to go on a shopping spree (in a nice, sunny beach-y area) when it was over with, gone because that flirty bastard had to get suckered by dinner and probably some pocket change to take up the Boyar's side of this mess. Well, and because Severa had to be stupid enough to try and get Inigo out of this mess. Now she had to recoup her losses with whatever she could force out of the Boyar for saving his life. A life that, as Severa observed, was now facing eleven axe-related ends.

"Hey, great seeing you again!" The Boyar just had to look over his opponent's shoulders and started waving like an idiot with his spare hand, swinging his weapon wildly with the other. "Me and Vilea had a bet on when you two would show up, and I think I won!"

"Thanks for ruining our element of surprise, pal." Severa whispered to herself, spitting out the last word.

"Well, I wouldn't assume our foes were so foolish to think just four mere bandits could do us in." Inigo still kept to his unique sense of humour.

That was all more than enough to get the thug in charge, or at least the most oversized person in the group, to turn his attention towards the door. If there was anyone whose appearance screamed 'criminal,' it was probably this guy. A few scars running across his face, body clad in grimy furs, a wyvern skull decorating his helmet and, now this was just gross, what looked like human finger bones adorned on his chest like a necklace. Severa figured the town guard must have been either bribed or really damn stupid to let this guy and his men in without a fight. Now Severa and Inigo were stuck doing their job for them.

"… Alright boys." The big guy sounded bitter enough that he was clearly not expecting Severa and Inigo to be alive. "Keep the Boyar pinned, I'll deal with these two myself."

Did he just decide to take on Severa and Inigo like some dark overlord contemptuously getting off his big scary throne to put down the annoyingly intrepid heroes? Yes, he just did. One cliché after another, maybe the guy would start a monologue and Severa could stab him mid-speech. Unfortunately, the big bastard opted to say nothing more and brandished a large war hammer as he walked up to the two, staring at them with a malice akin to a chef with a butcher's knife discovering a pair of rats in his kitchen. Fortunately, Severa could keep a cool head regardless of this joker's posturing, she and Inigo had the numerical advantage and, given how they had killed around seven of this guy's men, the large brute was probably worth three of his own and would not be much more of a challenge.

Then the thug had to show competence, because life was unfair like that.

The bandit leader casually plucked an overturned chair from the ground and threw it into the pair of would-be Boyar-savers (for now, at least, killing the Boyar while Inigo was not looking was note entirely off the table). Despite battle fatigue, the two managed to dodge the speeding chair, just barely. Severa was a bit concerned when the chair exploded into a few dozen splinters, some of which almost flew into her eyes before she closed them in time. A few more alarm bells rang in her head when she realized the intent behind the throwing of that chair, the bandit leader swung his hammer in a faint at Inigo, moving him away from Severa. While the thought of being as far away as physically possible from Inigo pleased many parts of Severa's mind, the part of her mind that processed battle tactics recognized this maneuver; divide and conquer. The hulking cliché was not subtle, but he clearly was not half as dumb as he looked. In hindsight, Severa really should not have assumed that life was going to let up on her just yet with fighting another simple brute. However, Severa saw an opening as Inigo gave ground, goading the bandit leader to start turning his back against her. Whether or not Inigo was doing it on purpose, Severa could not tell, but at least he was making himself useful for the moment. Now it was her turn to make good use of herself.

"Are you blind!?" Severa mocked her opponent for exposing his back as she lunged forward.

That was a bit of a mistake, as Severa halted her attack to avoid the hammer swinging in in her direction. The bandit leader was terrifyingly fast for someone his size. Severa held back yelling a curse to the bandit and a dozen at herself, telegraphing an attack like that could have gotten her killed. Now things had gotten downright embarrassing, Inigo and Severa had the bandit leader practically surrounded, but the sheer speed he could swing his hammer back and forth from one to the other was daunting to say the least. The fact that there was a 'separate,' in that no one was available to contribute, fight happening just a few feet away made the whole scenario feel even worse. Severa and Inigo were stalemated in a two on one fight, and there was at least a dozen people probably taking note of that. Needless to say, no mercy was going to be given to the big bastard with the hammer today. Unfortunately, being very angry at the problem did not make it go away, if things were so easy Severa could have glared most her problems to death in the past. Severa decided that she could wait until the thugs' leader tired himself out between herself and Inigo, then go in for the kill. Inigo seemed to have decided the same, from what Severa could tell he was doing behind the large bandit, he was mostly fainting attacks here and there to likely tire out the bandit leader. It was nothing legendary or really impressive, any pair of warriors could tire out a single opponent in this situation, but Severa was content enough with getting the job done already.

"Romir and Promir." Two bandits, whose similar names and appearances hinted at siblinghood, broke off from the melee against the Boyar and his entourage and turned their attention to their leader. "I need little bit of help skewering these piglets!"

"Well…" Inigo still managed to maintain that damn smile while he quipped. "I'm honestly flattered the bandit tried to make it a fair fight at first."

Severa found herself agreeing with Inigo again, that was almost more concerning than the pair of axe wielding killers trying to kill them. Alright, first things first, kill the fodder and then put efforts back on cutting the big guy's throat. Unless these new guys could also hold their own in a two on one fight, then Severa and Inigo might have a bit of a problem. The one that went for Severa, Promi, or whatever his name was, ran at her with fairly good form, keeping his weapon close to his body to parry any counter-attack Severa might enact. Severa reacted defensively, planting her feet in a stance and pointing the tip of her sword toward the new coming opponent. Severa could see in the corner of her eye that the bandit leader and the other bandit-twin were going for Inigo. Good, Inigo could hold them off, Severa would kill the one coming for her and then she would hopefully think of something clever to deal with the bandit leader and his buddy. The bandit going for Severa speedily close the space between the two of them and raised his axe for a downward swing, Severa raised her sword to parry the attack, her legs were too tired from the last few fights to bother dodging the attack, and she was in the mood for a contest of pure strength. The bandit tried the same trick Vilea did in the alleyway, hooking Severa's blade between the axe head and the handle and pulling the sword from her grip. However, Severa predicted he might have tried that, especially with Vilea's move fresh in her head, and moved her spare hand onto her own sword's blade to increase her grip and pull in the opposite direction. For a few moments there was nothing happening except the straining of muscles between the pigtailed sellsword and the twin bandit, but Severa stole the initiative first, delivering a kick to one of the bandit's arms forcing him to lose his grip over his weapon. It took a moment and a half for Severa to regain her balance due to the height of the kick, but by the time she was ready for a lunge, the bandit was just about to grab his axe lying on the floor. Just about, but not close enough, as Severa introduced her sword to his throat. Now to help out Inigo and wrap this mess up.

"AGH!" A cry that sounded a lot like Inigo pierced Severa's mind. "Th- that smarts…"

Severa's eyes were quickly spun towards the origin of the noise. Inigo staggering from one of the bandits, the other twin whose axe was dripping with a fresh coat of blood, the arm carrying his shield pressed tightly against his side. Severa could not see the wound, but she could see the rivulets of crimson running down his leg, it was no less alarming. To add to the tension, the brute with the hammer advanced on Inigo brandishing his weapon for a strike likely aimed at Inigo's head. In hindsight, Severa should have just punched Inigo in the face until he passed out and threw him into a trash heap where he would have been safe, she should have just killed the Boyar and left right when the bandits showed up, that would have been the smart thing to do. Instead, Severa played nice and she paid for it with Inigo getting himself cut open and bleeding out with two bandits prepared to finish him off for some pompous ass because said ass's sister weaseled Inigo into this mess. In that moment, Severa told the part of herself telling her to think up a plan to go kiss Grima right on the lips and hopefully get eaten in the process, and agreed completely with the part of her that demanded action. In layman's terms, she lost her temper. It would likely go south like it usually went, but she did not care at this point. At this point, Severa just wanted to see some bandits bleed.

"OVER HERE YOU BASTARDS!" Severa took a page from the bandits' leader and threw a bar stool she found on the ground with all of her might into his back.

Severa did could not tell, initially, how much it might have hurt, as the chair seemed to bounce harmlessly off the bandit's back. However, the way the man staggered and turned with a pained grunt gave her enough information that she threw the stool hard enough. The glare the oversized bastard gave her was nothing less than pure murder brimming over in his furrowed eyes and snarling mouth, the bandit beside him did not look much happier seeing his brother lying in a pool of his own blood. Good, Severa was more than happy to spread the misery around today.

"Ignore the injured pup, Promir." The leader growled. "We've got a bitch to put down."

Severa took a deep breath, no point in shouting a retort, she lacked that clarity to come up with something that held sharp enough wit. Instead, Severa settled with running right at the pair of bandits screaming the best should could manage of a war cry. The pair of bandits charged in turn, keeping up an even pace, likely planning to hit Severa simultaneously to overwhelm her, she was calm enough to see that. It was not long before a hammer swung in from her left and an axe came in from her right, she decided to duck to the left, bent on getting on the leader's flank and cut into his side. Severa could rationalize that killing the head would wither the body, but in reality she just wanted to kill the guy who made a mockery of her and Inigo's skill at fighting and was about to top it off by bashing Inigo's head in. Furthering this annoyance, the big bastard was remained too damn fast, sidestepping away from Severa and making some space for his bandit buddy to make a move on her. Another axe swing from the former sibling, this time coming from above, quickly followed. With the big guy and his hammer so close by, Severa could not afford to lock weapons again and tried to dodge. Severa's legs started tapping into her adrenaline as she moved to her right and shifted a bit more of her left side towards the direction of her foe just in case she was too slow and had to use her shield to absorb the blow. It figured that, of all these preparations, that Severa would forget about the stray chair lying on the ground. The chair she tripped over, giving the bandit's axe more than enough time to reach her. As the axe sparked against her shield, and Severa's bones vibrated almost to the point of breaking behind it, Severa prayed that, of all the things this uncaring and unpleasant world could do, it would not be a damn chair, of all things, that would end her. Unless fate had reserved tripping over a pebble to kill her, then she might settle with the chair.

Now, Severa's objective was getting the hell back on her feet before she found a hammer breaking her shoulder or axe tearing open her gut. Much easier said than done, given that a glimpse over her shield revealed that another axe strike was coming Severa's way, but these things were never easy. Severa scrambled a bit at first, feet struggling to find the ground, she pushed herself along that grimy bar floor for half a second before she managed to raise her body on her feet high enough to dive away from where the axe was about to strike. Severa did not bother to look, the sound of wood splintering told her how closely she had brushed with death. About the second or third time today Severa almost got killed, in hindsight she really should have kicked Lucina in the past (well, future) for talking about how much safer this world was compared to theirs. Only difference was that the things trying to kill you here were doing it for themselves and not obeying the Fell Dragon. Where was she again? Right, in a bar facing down two very angry and surprisingly capable thugs, Boyar and friends fighting the thugs' buddies and Inigo kneeling over in a slowly growing pool of his own blood. No pressure or anything.

That was when things went from bad to… Better. Better always worried Severa as it usually meant something worse down the line, but at the moment it was deeply appreciated. The surviving twin lurched forward, groaning in pain, something had hit him in the back. A sword, with a fresh coating of blood added to the crimson it gained outside, bounced off and landed on the floor. The pair of bandits and Severa turned their faces to Inigo's direction. Instead of a philanderer bleeding out on the ground, there was a philanderer bleeding out propping his body up on a raised knee, one arm pressed snugly against the wound on his gut, the other lying loosely on his side, likely the one he threw the sword with. Still wearing that stupid grin, as usual, he even followed it with a 'charming' (one would assume in Inigo's head) wink. Then another one, and another. It was then Severa realized that Inigo's winking eye was on the one on Severa's right, the same direction the wounded and distracted bandit was on. Great, now Severa would have to thank the flirt for the help. Severa quickly leapt in just when the bandits' attention was getting back on her, running the not-so-surviving twin through with her blade. She made a point to quickly jump back to her former position as quickly as possible, blade exiting he opponent's body just as she left her position. Severa felt the air pushed against her face as the hammer of the bandit leader swung down in a blur where she was standing a moment ago. The floor splintered, a body fell to the ground and Severa now found herself facing one-on-one odds. Severa's eyes noted the details of the bandit leader's face, his own eyes narrowed but Severa knew the spark of fear, specifically of one's mortality, when she saw it, knowing Yarne helped her that much.

The bandit leader sprinted right through the door, or what was left of it after being smashed to pieces, typical. Severa would have given chase, but she had to deal with Inigo bleeding on the ground and the six or eight, Severa had forgotten the exact number, bandits left. Well, so she thought until the remaining bandits sprinted towards her, likely trying to cut down the person that scared off their leader. Severa's heart skipped a beat as she started swinging her sword wildly to fend off the horde, but her life flashed before her eyes a bit regardless. She was at the part where her perfect (this time not entirely as a curse) mother was reading her favorite bedtime story when Severa realized all the bandits were weaving around her and flowed through the ajar door like water. If water could be afraid for its own life. Their leader running off and their numbers thinned, it was pretty obvious now that their self-preservation instincts finally kicked in. Save one who, in blind panic, jumped through one of the broken windows. Severa was torn between laughing at and mocking the sea of cowardice put before her or melting in embarrassment for her own panicked reaction. As ridiculous it seemed to follow after an afternoon of killing and murder, she decided to test the waters of the people still in the warzone/bar. Severa glanced at the Boyar and his guards, they seemed to be busy tending to their wound, a quick look at Inigo revealed that he was no longer looking at Severa; he was now just lying face first in a pool of his own blood. Severa chose to scream Inigo's name out loud, the most mortifying option of all in painful hindsight.

"Awww, I knew you cared." Inigo grinned that stupid damn grin like he had not just lost almost a third of his blood after he was debriefed on what happened by the one member of the Boyar's guards that knew how to use a staff.

"Well, someone has to." Severa huffed, praying to Naga that her cheeks were not as red as they felt. "I don't want to go home, meet our friends and talk about how I got one of us killed, do I?"

"Ah, Severa, I-" Gods were finally merciful enough to have someone cut Inigo off before the situation got more embarrassing.

"A'right, loverboy, now's not the time." Vilea, she was still alive, amazingly, and was Severa's favorite person at the moment. "Firstly, we have to find out who jus' tried to get the Boyar dead. Twenty-something bandits attacking the pub we jus' happen to be in, with no city guard showin' their faces, ain't an accident."

Great. Severa now had to explain in a way that would lead to Tristrom's uncle, as Severa knew he hired her to kill Tristrom, without revealing that Severa was hired to kill Boyar Pompous-Ass.

"Eh, probably my uncle, as usual." Tristom chuckled that gratingly jovial chuckle of his, it was like listening to Cynthia if Cynthia was a guy, was born in the past, did not ride a pegasus, did not seek a life of childish heroism because her parents were dead- at this point Severa gave up on the analogy, comparing Cynthia to Tristrom was a bit unfair to Cynthia. "I'll admit, I'm surprised he didn't hire one of you fellows, you clearly have a better idea at killing people!"

Really unfair, even to an airhead like Cynthia, Severa was actually feeling guilty about it.

"Wait, but wasn't that your theory?" Inigo took the words out of Severa's mouth, well, maybe not the exact words, she did not know that Inigo learned what he did from Trsitrom, but it figured, takes an idiot to tolerate one. "I was hired by your sister to get you away from your guards, it was clearly to drag you away from your protection and then attack you with a cartload of bandits!"

The guards gave a mixture of glares at Inigo, a mixture of confusion and indignant anger, Severa too because now she was his accomplice. At least Severa knew better now, knock Inigo out and run the hell out of this miserable, frozen pit of a town. If things got bad at least, right now she tried to play along.

"Look, trust me, Inigo is not your enemy." Severa made sure to speak the tone just right to make it sound like an insult as much as a charge of innocence for Inigo. "We were played just as much as you guys. However, our problem was keeping the Boyar alive, now it isn't. We'll be off to get our pay. Goodbye."

Severa started walking towards the door, quickly grabbing Inigo by the arm and dragging him away before he actually got himself killed. The guards did not try to stop her, they were clearly exhausted by the turn of events and likely agreed with Severa's deduction. Inigo was too stupid to be this level of murderously cunning and now he really owed her every cent they could squeeze out of Tristrom's sister.

"Hey- ow, jeez!" Inigo struggled to escape her grip as he protested, but in his wounded state, dealing with Inigo was much more easy than usual. "Severa, maybe we shouldn't leave the job half-done. I mean, by the looks of things, Tristrom's sister might have been in on it!"

Severa stopped, and heard Tristrom's posse bolt up a bit in shock. Inigo dragged her into this mess, now he was dragging in the source of their pay into this mess. Severa really wondered why he became a mercenary and how he lasted this long.

"Okay…" Severa turned around, letting go of Inigo as she tried to defend a woman she never even met but who owed her money now nonetheless. "Look, let's ask ourselves why she would do tha-"

"Because she's someone close to me!" Tristrom exclaimed in a eureka moment, possibly the only one he ever had in his life and it had to be the day it would get Severa into more work. "My uncle, if he found a way to get my sister against me, could have told her to get you two to separate me from my guards! He's used people progressively closer and closer to my inner circle, hence why I suspected my guards, but I never would have suspected my sister. Damn, uncle may have outdone himself."

"Exactly!" Inigo agreed, of course he agreed. "So, we need to figure out wether or not your sister was fooled or is on your uncle's side."

"... Well, there's a chance she could have been fooled, and- and..." Of all the times Severa could lose an argument to Inigo, it had to be now. "Okay, fine, maybe she was, but there's no way to find out!"

"Unless we go back to get our pay." Inigo gave Severa a wink and nod.

Now everyone was giving Inigo strained looks, it felt nice not to be alone in this action, even if Severa was doing it for different reasons then the local Feroxi.

"Easy, we'll go back to Lady Sherena under the auspice of collecting our fee, and use it to sneak around and search for evidence!" Okay, maybe Severa had been too quick to judge, the plan still involved more work, but at least it got her paid, she could just force Inigo to share his fee with her and maybe she could squeeze a bit more dough out of Tristrom later for this job, he seemed like the type a someone could sucker in easily. "Meanwhile, you fellows lay low in town, she hired us to kill Tristrom's guards so we can't risk her finding out you're alive and, well, hiding in a moldy inn is probably better than in a grave. What do you say to that?"

Tristrom's guards and their liege shared a few looks and eventually nodded in agreement. Severa was wary of trusting a plan from Inigo, given his schemes to schmooze with women always backfired, and this plan involved a woman, but it seemed remarkably sound to her. Either way, she would have to say yes now to keep in character with someone trying to keep Tristrom alive and then work things out with Inigo later. Especially to make up for the lost seven hundred coins. Inigo helping with her next job would be perfect, if she could convince him that he had to wear a bright pink tutu while doing it. So, Severa gave the slightest nod of approval she could give, any bigger and Inigo might think she was flirting or pretend to to think so.

"Well then, it's settled." Inigo's smile looked smug as ever as he turned towards the door. "We'll be off then, if I recall correctly, Lady Sharena is residing in a small keep south of here so our trip shan't take too long."

"Waiiiiiit a damn minute!" First time a 'wait' ever made Severa feel threatened. "How do we know you're not just going to bail on us? Hell, how do we know this isn't some elaborate ruse, you were hired by Sharena!"

"I, uhm, well, I mean..." Inigo stuttered as he turned to face one of Tristrom's guards, it was the one who was previously lying on the ground wounded and was apparently the grump of his group. "Can't a man just be... Nice to his fellow man?"

Severa could not tell if Inigo was stupid enough to use that line as a lie or if he actually believed in it. Thankfully, for Inigo, she was here to bail him out, again. Well, and make a small profit.

"Six hundred coins, two hundred up front, we'll split it between the two of us." Severa smiled, she had no intention of splitting it evenly, that was how Inigo could pay for all of this! "Or, we can just take our business elsewhere and you five, five people Tristrom's sister would likely make preparations for since I'm certain she knows your faces, can figure this out without a pair of mercenaries behind the enemy's lines."

"Uh, Severa, that seems a bit-" Inigo was not going to cheat the twin-tailed mercenary today.

"Hey, c'mon Inigo, everyone has to eat, right?" Severa spoke matter-of-factly. "And I'm pretty sure you like breathing, right?"

She whispered that last part, moving her hand slowly in the direction of her sword's hilt. Inigo's tune changed very quickly.

"Alright, alright..." Inigo sighed bitterly, this day was just getting better and better now. "I suppose if you want the assurance that we're not treacherous sell-swords, you can buy our services."

The grumpy guard was about to protest, but Boyar Tristrom suddenly made himself much more likeable, still a pompous ass, as he raised his hand.

"Peace, my comrade, these two could have abandoned us earlier but did not." It was nice being buttered up by a Noble, they always seemed to have a way to make compliments feel genuine. "I agree to your terms, two hundred coins to start the task with the promise of four hundred more upon the completion of it."

"You're welcome." Severa smiled smugly, especially in the direction of the grumpy guard, as Inigo forced a thankful grin.

Today was starting to look half-decent.

"So, you go check out Tristom's uncle while I go for his sister." Severa could always count on Inigo to ruin a day for her.

"Wait, what!?" Severa barely contained her shout outside the pub as they walked down the streets. "I thought you said-"

"I lied." Inigo admitted with a frown. "The real plan is I check on the sister while you check on the uncle, the ones that hired each of us. Basically, if we cover more ground, we can probably get a bigger picture on what's happening. We can meet up somewhere out of town, compare what we learned, pretend we just went to Sharena's and collect our reward from Tristrom as we tell him what happened."

Inigo was being unsettlingly clever today, although it was all serving to make Severa's life harder so she supposed it all made sense in the end.

"Ugh, fine." Severa grumbled, she just wanted this day to end. "I'll check on the wrinkled, old uncle and you can check on Lady whoever. And if you get suckered into another dinner with her, I'll-"

"Believe me, lovely Severa, you're one of the last people I would wish to upset." Now Inigo was back to futile flirting, winks, smiles and all that, just after unveiling his decent intelligence-gathering plan; the inner machinations of his mind were an enigma, a very stupid enigma. "Now, I believe is the time for goodbyes, can't risk anyone seeing is together, especially if any of the Boyar's family catch wind of it. Promise to properly catch up when all of this is over?"

"I promise to hold in my lunch from all the false-flattery, if that counts." Severa was already on her separate way to get away from Inigo.

"I'll take it!" Inigo's chuckle made Severa grind her teeth a bit. "See you soon, oh radiant ice-queen!"

A life-threatening, cloak-and-dagger adventure with Inigo, and just Inigo, no one else. And Severa realized it meant more time spent in this frozen wasteland. Maybe Severa had died a long time ago and this was all just her personal hell. Then again, Grima should be here if it was hell, so maybe it was just a purgatory of sorts. Yeah, that made sense.

XXX

That was a good day. Sure, Inigo was almost killed, but any incident involving a woman that did not end with a red hand imprint on Inigo's face was a good one in his book. However, that day was long past, now Inigo was eager to rest his legs at the squat, but stout keep sitting just atop the next hill. With weather this chilly, Inigo was surprised how the Feroxi spent any time outside their homes or their lovely fortresses, in this case. The dancer had plenty of time to think on how to approach his task. He fancied the thought of using his charms to make the Lady drop her guard and then rummage through her quarters. However, Inigo knew that would be incredibly risky, especially since, well, he had to be honest here, this was someone who could order his head cut off if he said the wrong thing and he usually said the wrong thing when trying to be flirty. Honestly, Sharena's warm reception of Inigo's advances was the latest sign that something was up. Vilea came to mind. What was with Inigo running into women that played along with his advances so well in Regna Ferox? Oh well, he figured out a new approach nonetheless.

"Business with Lady Sharena?" One of the guards, a man much like the keep, short and sturdily built, asked Inigo.

"Oh, yeah..." The second guard, a much taller and frail looking man, said with a nostalgic chuckle. "I remember this man. Heh, 'A dream like you could void a man of any nightmares.' Got new lines to try on Sharena, boy?"

Inigo forced a smile, he remembered that guard too, did not care for him, but Inigo's smile-in-the-face-of-everything policy.

"Well, I might have a few new moves." Inigo still tried to stay smooth even when he was lying, patting the part of his body that was recently cut open, the sharp bit of pain almost broke Inigo's grin, but he had worse. "I've heard women usually fancy scars, I hope Sharena is no exception. Got a rather unsightly one completing this job for her."

"Hah, a dandy like you taking a hit, Sharena just might treat you to another dinner for the sheer novelty!" Inigo pretended that was a compliment, of sorts, and said nothing more as the keep's guards gave Inigo a gesture to go on inside.

However, Inigo did not have any dinners in mind, he had some climbing to do instead. The guard that escorted Inigo to Sharena's office was not a complete oaf, making sure Inigo stayed right next to him as they walked down the hall. Fortunately, if the guards outside were anything to go by, Inigo had a reputation for looking like a fool in the castle, and he was decent at intentionally acting the part too.

"Ah, I remember my last visit now, watch I know a quicker route!" Inigo dashed down a deliberately wrong turn, informing the guard's protest.

After a few minutes of running up and down stairs and hallways, Inigo was certain he lost the guard, although he was likely raising some alarms, meaning Inigo did not have much time to spend. He did, in fact, remembered quite a bit of the keep in question, it was not a large structure so there was not much to forget. For example, he knew he was on the floor where Sharena's private quarters were and figured out that a certain hallway window next to a case full of purple, well, now red, flowers was right next to the window for that room. With a quick breath of air and clenching his bowels, Inigo opened the windows and began to shimmy along the window ledge to Sharena's room. In hindsight, this plan was smarter in his head than standing on a few inches of stone and mortar as frigid winds threatened to push him to a broken leg at best and a grave at worst. Breathing, he remembered it was important to breathe in moments like these, breathing kept one calm. Fear is the mind-killer as they say. But he had no fear, Inigo the Invincible was as brave as they came! Pleasant sentiments like that kept the terror creeping up from his feet to his back from crawling into his mind. Against all odds, Inigo managed to get himself next to the window of his destination. However, Inigo then realized that the widow was locked shut.

Now the fear set in. His breaths became more rushed and uneven, feet trembling, almost as if Inigo was not aware that would kill him. Which, to be fair, he was not aware, he mind was less focused on what could kill him and more on his impending death. What would they say when thy found his body, would his friends and family ever find out, would it hurt? A near-slip brought Inigo back to reality. Now desperation took over, Inigo's hand instantly found itself wrapped around the hilt if his sword. In another instant, his sword was drawn and smashing against the window. In the final still-frame of life he was currently going through, Inigo found himself lying on the solid floor of the castle, not entirely sure how he ended up there an not on the frozen ground outside, cold breeze from the broken window sending shivers down his spine. Inigo was starting to get far too familiar with death these days, when all he can say is just the breeze giving him shivers after something like that.

Inigo took a breath, almost savouring the taste of air, and brought himself back to his feet. His eyes scanned the room, he had visited the part of Sharena's quarters for official business, but not the... Bedroom. Inigo suddenly felt a bit dirty, being in a woman's bedroom uninvited was just uncouth! Inigo had missed the part where he was trying to burgle the same woman. Inigo's search in there was as space as he could make it, never even considering to open the dresser drawers or touch anything even near Sharena's cloister. He could hear his partner-in-crime mocking him wherever Tristrom's uncle was. Then there was the private library, books, notes and some documents on- there they were! Inigo only skimmed it, but the words 'Tristrom,' 'Uncle is at it again' and 'Can't trust brother's guards.' was enough for Inigo to paint the picture. So, the lady was most likely trying to make an earnest attempt to stop the assassination. Good, Sharena was a very pretty girl, Inigo would have hated to have to fight her. However, a bit more evidence would not hurt, all the more to clear her name. And hey, this meant she was not manipulating Inigo, she actually liked him! Talk about the up and up, a noblewoman liked him, he could not wait to hear Severa's reaction to that, or anyone else for that matter! All the girls that smacked him across the face, bear him, threw objects at him, robbed him, attempted to kill him, it was all worth it now. Victory against Inigo's best friend and worst enemy; rejection.

Then Inigo found something a bit troublesome at what he assumed was the desk where Sharena scribbled notes and signed documents. A report on... Someone very familiar. Several reports keeping tabs on a 'philandering swordsman' of 'unknown origin' who fought for the Shepherds and was recently now working as a sell-sword. At best, Inigo had learned that Sharena was a stalker-ish admirer, at worst she was some kind of... Inigo did not know what, but it could not be good. Suddenly he realized this must have been how Robin felt first learning about Tharja.

There was more! A few reports on... Severa. It was Severa. The words 'Temperamental swordswoman' with 'Mercurial attitude' and 'working as sell-sword after the defeat of the Fell-Dragon' was all Inigo had to read. This could not be a coincidence, this must have been planned, Inigo had to read more. Maybe this was Grimleal related? Or something to do with the Valmese Empire? Or... Well, wandering heroes like the Shepherds tended to gather enemies among all sorts of low-lives, so it could really be anything. Gods, what if the uncle was in on it? What if this was a trap?! Inigo had to warn Severa, whatever she had planned, he should have just kept his mouth shut and left that bar with her and left the whole incident behind them. Inigo really had to figure out when and when not to play hero.

Then he heard the door open in the greeting room, the one where Inigo had met with Sharena when she offered him the job. It was also, apparently, right next to the damn library. The Lady was just a door away from Inigo. Inigo froze up, he had no idea what to do. Should he just get out and regroup with Severa, should he burst through the door and interrogate the Lady on what was going on, should he just, perish the thought, kill Sharena and get this all over with? The sounds behind the door were getting louder, likely Sharena rummaging through notes and documents. Inigo gulped, maybe she had just popped in to do some quick business and then she would leave. Then the sound of footsteps got closer and closer, now was the moment of truth, as they say. Inigo took a breath, drew his sword once again and prepared to leap forward, take the Lady hostage and make a daring escape out of the keep. Or, so was the general outline of his plan. The door was quickly, but quietly, pushed open.

Lady Sharena looked... Different. Usually her hair was done up in a bun, usually she stood rather tall, but with a limp due to her bad left leg, usually she wore a fine, but simple dress with a belt carrying an axe, armed like any Feroxi noble. Now she had two long ponytails, was a roughly Inigo's height, or closer anyway, but walked without any limp, wore clothes that were definitely not simple or fine and had a sword hanging from her belt. Inigo had forgotten about the possible conspiracy he had stumbled upon, now he was wondering what was Severa doing in Sharena's place. Severa seemed to be thinking the same for Inigo.

""WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? SHHHH, THERE COULD BE PEOPLE HEARING US!""

The two bellowed at each other before covering their mouths in shock. They removed their hands from their lips and started again.

"Uh, Severa, what are you doing in Sharena's castle?" Inigo asked first.

"What! What are you doing in my employer's castle?!" Severa retorted.

"... Is your employer a very tall woman with a limp dressed simply, but finely and carries an axe literally everywhere?" Inigo was starting to figure out what may be going on here, given the reports he just found.

"Oh. My. Gawds." Severa buried her face in her hands. "She's the same person, she was the same person all along, why didn't you tell me what she looked like?!"

"You said Tristrom's uncle hired you, and- and you said he was wrinkly and old, I thought you met him!" Inigo exclaimed, why was everything getting so confusing now?

"There's a painting in the greeting room!" Severa remained as calm as ever, in her own not-calm kind of way. "The guy on the top left with the mean scowl is the uncle, I didn't even bother to learn his name!"

"I- I just..." Then Inigo remembered the most unsettling revelation for today. "Oh, jeez, we have to get out of here, I've found some reports that reveal that this lady was trying to protect Tristrom-"

"Ugh, all of my effort getting in here was wasted if you could have figured it out!" Inigo wanted to apologize, he really did, but there was something much more pressing.

"SEVERA!" For the first time in a long time, Inigo managed to legitimately startle the wanna-be ice-queen. "This lady has been sending people to spy on us and has a bunch of notes on us like we're- I dunno, something people spy on!"

A silence filled the room, one of horror that quickly turned to indignant anger.

"WHAT?" Severa looked like she was about to vomit, if she also did not look like she was about to kill someone. "Ugh, I'm feeling ill now. That's- is this- what are we supposed to call this!?"

"I have the papers right here." Inigo handed them over with a grimace. "I think we should be careful dealing with anyone from Tristrom's family, including him! This could be some elaborate... I don't know, but it doesn't look good for us. At least from what I skimmed over."

"I think we'll have plenty of time to read when we're not burglarizing a someone's castle!" Ah, Severa was back to her prickly self, it was oddly reassuring that this whole thing failed to phase her too badly. "Let's just go and process this all later!"

Inigo could agree with that. Cooler heads usually prevailed and this was a heated situation. Without another word spoken, the two ran for the entrance door. Severa must have some escape route planned and Inigo was in no mood to stroll along window ledges anytime soon. Swords drawn, spare arms wrapped around the pilfered documents, and adrenaline from all the shock and excitement flowing through their veins, the two were ready for anything this castle could throw at them.

So the castle threw Lady Sharena at them, standing in front of the door as they opened it.

Silence, just pure, unexpected silence, filled the air between the three of them.

"Well..." Sharena's refined voice pierced the quiet. "I believe I have some explaining to do."

"... Yes, that would be deeply appreciated, milady." Inigo thought it was best to be polite about this, one lured more things out with honey then with vinegar.

And by Naga's shining breasts, there was a lot of explaining that had to be done.

XXX

 **A/N: Well, that took a long time, didn't it? Sorry for the wait, this chapter just got longer than I expected and a bunch of other fanfict plot bunnies plagued me while writing. However, here it is!**

 **Now to respond to the near-ancient (in internet time, I think) reviews (again, apologies for the wait).**

 **Gunlord500: Glad you've been enjoying most of my ficts so far, some of your input in previous reviews were kept in mind as I wrote this one (such as shorter paragraphs... Well, so I tried :p), so thanks for that.**

 **DarkPaladin000: Well, I certainly hope the payoff ends well. Hopefully. These kinds of stories scare me, since wether or not it clicks depends on how much the audience enjoys the mystery and it's answer. As for how much Inigo was paid... I'm actually making a joke based on that... For the next chapter (I apologize). However, the gist is that it was much more than Severa thought, but not as much as Severa's pay. I hope that's enough to hold you over.**

 **\- Dorkling**


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